An invoice arrived yesterday and, due to circumstances outside of my control, it was for an amount rather larger than I was expecting. A spider helped calm me down.
I read and reread the invoice and thought, ‘can this be right?’ as I felt the acidic pang of the primal ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ feeling rush through my body. A feeling society had conditioned me to deem as unpleasant. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s a very strong feeling, one that takes continual practise and reminding that the feeling itself won’t hurt me — I can and will always cope — I just need to witness it and accept it will pass (and it does, every time, eventually).
Seeing it for what it is, a rush of energy with thoughts very quickly attached to it was brought to life as I looked up and out of the window to breathe for a moment. There I noticed my now friend John going about his business. John is a spider (hey, it’s lockdown!) and twice now he’s been there for me as a reminder for this very wise lesson. …
Change requires us to admit a few things to ourselves…
Make sustainable change Part 2/3 — acknowledging the ego
In PART 1 of this Make sustainable change series we discovered a method for figuring out what you love to do — what a prime driver is. In this article, PART 2, we will discuss how your ego is preventing your growth and how individual egos are perhaps the main blocker to creating lasting change within teams. In PART 3 find out how to unearth passionate leaders across an organisation.
Managing personal change has fewer parts than in business, but the same approach can be applied. A team, in business or otherwise, is fuelled by individuals working together. …
Love what you do. The starting point of sustainable change.
Make sustainable change Part 1/3 — discovering prime drivers.
This is a series of three articles on how to make difficult, but vital, changes and how to lay a foundation to sustain them personally and in business. Drawing from my experience with anxiety, as well as being an innovation consultant, I uncovered:
- Part 1: A method for discovering what a person loves to do.
- Part 2: How, why, and what people can do to reduce the effect that their ego has in blocking change.
- Part 3: How to unearth passionate leaders across an organisation.
I have to say that I only speak from my experience in these articles. I’m not a qualified psychologist. What works for one person may not work for all but, as with innovation, different perspectives are key. …
The more you know, the more you can define things, and that’s not necessarily a good thing…
My name is Adam, I’m a man, I’m straight, I’m 40, my main love language is ‘acts of service’, my attachment style is primarily secure, my purpose can be summarised as ‘realising potential’, camaraderie is extremely important to me and my anxiety triggers are ‘control’ and ‘fear of abandonment’…
The first four definitions were relatively easy to figure out. The latter took time and they are the tip of the iceberg to knowing oneself, being conscious, and ‘awake’.
Observation + acceptance
My cousin said to me recently, ‘I enjoyed your last article, but you think too much at times’.
He’s got a point and I’m okay with it. I do overthink at times but it’s because I love psychology and I’ve accepted that once you’ve taken a step into your own rabbit hole, thinking a lot is par for the course. …
A formula for Sustainable Change and collectively sorting it out.
Make sustainable change Part 3/3 — distributed leadership
In PART 2 of this Make sustainable change series we discussed the ego and how to prevent it from getting in the way of change. In PART 1 we discovered prime drivers and what we love to do. In this article, PART 3, a formula for making sustainable change happen (and last) will be put forward.
The climate crisis is a huge subject with lots of moving parts. From a business point of view, it’s the responsibility from top to bottom of an organisation to operate sustainably. …
Are you looking to find love? It seems we can’t find it, it’ll find us… when two people are both ready. And if we are in a rangover, we are not ready.
Should we stop looking for love? In a sense, yes. But looking, being open to, and ready for them are different things. When a person has had their heart broken a few times they subconsciously begin to protect themself, at least for a while, and in order to be able to fall in love again, with seeming ease, some reflection, inner work and time is required.
To explain what a ‘rangover’ is, I need to give a back story. In 2017 I met someone on a train and I thought, “yup, that’s me done.” After our two hour conversation, my face ached from all the smiling and I could feel in my bones I’d met someone special. I was in hook, line, and sinker. …
It is like smoking. It’s addictive. It’s bad for us but it gives a momentarily pleasant feeling so we justify it while, lurking under the surface, a disease is spreading which is slowly eating away at our quality of life.
The reason why the past is more addictive than smoking, or any substance, is because it’s incredibly easy to access. So easy in fact that we often aren’t aware when we consume it.
Substance addiction works roughly like this: something is taken, it gives a high, it works its way out of the body, the body likes the high feeling and wants more of it. Repeat. Initially, a good feeling is felt then over time, unless more is taken, an anxious, vulnerable and out of control feeling appears.
Taking whichever substance gets rid of the discomfort and makes us feel ‘safe’ because it calms the volatile out of control energy feeling. Which is perhaps one of the reasons the decision was made to take the substance in the first place? …
Imagine for a moment, that when we breathe in we don’t suck air into our bodies but, in fact, our bodies have to accept the air as a gift.
We don’t have to do anything to breathe, we just do. Without going underwater or having our nose and mouth forcefully shut it’s impossible to hold our breath until we don’t live anymore.
Breath then is vital for life and as such breathing connects all humans. This creates the possibility that, if we are having it pushed into us, the energy of air makes us all like flowers growing from a single, absolutely huge, mass of energy.
The collective consciousness
What if it’s only when we open our eyes, like a flower opens to blossom, that the energy can flow and we project what we think we are seeing into the collective consciousness (imagine life as a computer game) and our brains convert it into thoughts? Or put another way, our eyes don’t take in the world as a camera would but in fact, we project the energy that our bodies have accepted from the huge mass and we call it ‘reality’. If you close your eyes you shut the projector. You can still think of a tree and see it in your mind’s eye. But it’s not a tree, it never was a tree, there never was a tree, but only a projection of the energy into the collective consciousness which we’ve learned to make a sound about and call a tree. …
One person, One month, One festival, One mission
A new virtual wellbeing event ‘The Great Connection Festival’ launches with live online sessions for the mind, body, and soul.
LIVE SUNDAY 31 MAY 2020 AT 2 PM — 6 PM (BST). Tickets HERE
“What the world needs now is love, sweet love,
No not just for some but for everyone.” Jackie DeShannon
The Great Connection Festival aims to bring people together in this time of uncertainty to reflect, reposition, rebuild, and rejoice. The series of live online sessions for the mind, body, and soul are for anyone looking for some fun, energy, and inspiration to connect with themselves and others.
Bringing together over 20 speakers, practitioners, performers, and experts The Great Connection Festival features a wide range of unique and uplifting talks, workshops, and wellbeing exercise classes. From a dance medley and kickboxing for beginners class to a Trap Yoga session and a talk on how to ‘manage’ your emotions, the festival programme has something for everyone in these challenging times. …
S&M requires commitment, it often leaves people fulfilled, and eager for more. There are lessons to be learned.
During ‘work’ when they are doing a scene an S&M or, to give it its full title, BDSM (Bondage and discipline, Dominance and submission, Sadism and Masochism) team gets results because:
- They are prepared: They have all done their research and have the correct equipment readily available.
- They are there for each other: A Dom can’t dominate without a Sub being submissive and vice versa. They are aware of this and make an effort to help the other blossom.
- There’s a clear contract/brief: The team has expressed what is off the table (hard limits) and made the other members aware of it — the ‘Statement of Work’ is clear. …
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