1. There’s a right time to meet someone but there’s also, definitely, a wrong time. And, that is when you haven’t allowed enough time to heal from the last relationship.
2. Fear of abandonment is a very common reason for self-sabotage and other behaviours that don’t serve us.
3. Heartbreak causes us to put up walls / feel numb and subconsciously not let people close. The simple reason for this happening is that you’re not emotionally ready, yet.
4. The quickest way to get over someone is to allow yourself to really feel the sadness of the grief of them not being in your…

I read and reread the invoice and thought, ‘can this be right?’ as I felt the acidic pang of the primal ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ feeling rush through my body. A feeling society had conditioned me to deem as unpleasant. Now, don’t get me wrong, it’s a very strong feeling, one that takes continual practise and reminding that the feeling itself won’t hurt me — I can and will always cope — I just need to witness it and accept it will pass (and it does, every time, eventually).

Seeing it for what it is, a rush of energy with…

Make sustainable change Part 2/3 — acknowledging the ego

In PART 1 of this Make sustainable change series we discovered a method for figuring out what you love to do — what a prime driver is. In this article, PART 2, we will discuss how your ego is preventing your growth and how individual egos are perhaps the main blocker to creating lasting change within teams. In PART 3 find out how to unearth passionate leaders across an organisation.

Managing personal change has fewer parts than in business, but the same approach can be applied. A team, in business or otherwise, is fuelled by individuals working together. …

Make sustainable change Part 1/3 — discovering prime drivers.

This is a series of three articles on how to make difficult, but vital, changes and how to lay a foundation to sustain them personally and in business. Drawing from my experience with anxiety, as well as being an innovation consultant, I uncovered:

• Part 1: A method for discovering what a person loves to do.
• Part 2: How, why, and what people can do to reduce the effect that their ego has in blocking change.
• Part 3: How to unearth passionate leaders across an organisation.

I have to say that I only speak from my experience in these articles. I’m…

My name is Adam, I’m a man, I’m straight, I’m 40, my main love language is ‘acts of service’, my attachment style is primarily secure, my purpose can be summarised as ‘realising potential’, camaraderie is extremely important to me and my anxiety triggers are ‘control’ and ‘fear of abandonment’…

The first four definitions were relatively easy to figure out. The latter took time and they are the tip of the iceberg to knowing oneself, being conscious, and ‘awake’.

Observation + acceptance

My cousin said to me recently, ‘I enjoyed your last article, but you think too much at times’.

He’s got a point…

Make sustainable change Part 3/3 — distributed leadership

In PART 2 of this Make sustainable change series we discussed the ego and how to prevent it from getting in the way of change. In PART 1 we discovered prime drivers and what we love to do. In this article, PART 3, a formula for making sustainable change happen (and last) will be put forward.

The climate crisis is a huge subject with lots of moving parts. From a business point of view, it’s the responsibility from top to bottom of an organisation to operate sustainably. …

Should we stop looking for love? In a sense, yes. But looking, being open to, and ready for it are different things. When a person has had their heart broken a few times they subconsciously begin to protect themself, at least for a while, and in order to be able to fall in love again, with seeming ease, some reflection, inner work and time is required.

To explain what a ‘rangover’ is, I need to give a back story. In 2017 I met someone on a train and I thought, “yup, that’s me done.” After our two hour conversation, my…

The reason why the past is more addictive than smoking, or any substance, is because it’s incredibly easy to access. So easy in fact that we often aren’t aware when we consume it.

Substance addiction works roughly like this: something is taken, it gives a high, it works its way out of the body, the body likes the high feeling and wants more of it. Repeat. Initially, a good feeling is felt then over time, unless more is taken, an anxious, vulnerable and out of control feeling appears.

Taking whichever substance gets rid of the discomfort and makes us feel…